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TESTICULATING. Waving your arms
around and talking Bollocks.
BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
craps on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and
advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die.
CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's
going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because
there may be cake.)
SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops
working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".
SINBAD. single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and
desperate.
STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out
and whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere"
are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems
they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the
dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.
404. Someone who's clueless. >From the World Wide Web error message
"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be
located.
OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize
that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
GOING FOR A McSHIT. Entering a fast food restaurant with no
intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If
challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that
you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.
AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a
'black box'.
AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after
a booze cruise at 3am.
BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival
home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember
where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
GREYHOUND. A very short skirt,
only an inch from the hare.
MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of
a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside,
but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you
go:"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while
you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the
unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when
you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday
morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with,
and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she
looks like she's got four buttocks
SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person
SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive person
TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young
women - Jam
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