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01 |
Being British is about driving in a
German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home and grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. |
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02 |
And the most British thing of all?
Suspicion of anything foreign!!! |
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Oh and!!!!! |
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03 |
Only in Britain... can a pizza get to
your house faster than an ambulance. |
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04 |
Only in Britain... do supermarkets make
sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front. |
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05 |
Only in Britain.. do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries,
and a DIET coke. |
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06 |
Only in Britain... do banks leave both
doors open and chain the pens to the counters. |
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07 |
Only in Britain... do we leave cars
worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage. |
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08 |
Only in Britain... do we use answering
machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't
want to talk to in the first place. |
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09 |
Only in Britain... are there disabled
parking places in front of a skating rink. |
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NOT
TO MENTION... |
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10 |
3
Brits die each year testing if a 9v
battery works on their tongue. |
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11 |
142
Brits were injured in 1999 by not
removing all pins from new shirts. |
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12 |
58
Brits are injured each year by using
sharp knives instead of screwdrivers. |
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13 |
31
Brits have died since 1996 by watering
their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in. |
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14 |
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate. |
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15 |
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms
last year after cracker pulling accidents. |
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16 |
101
people since 1999 have had broken parts
of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet. |
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17 |
18
Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying
on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth. |
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18 |
A
massive 543 Brits (All Welsh) were
admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth. |
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19 |
5
Brits were injured last year in
accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars. |
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and
finally......... |
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20 |
In
2005 eight Brits (All Scottish) cracked
their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet. |
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Makes you proud to be British! |
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RULE BRITANNIA!!! |
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